When I look back, there is no season of motherhood that pressed me into prayer quite like the teenage years, though parenting adult children certainly gives it a run for its money (but that’s another story for another day). The teen years were beautiful and exhausting, sacred and stretching, often all at once. Teenagers live in that fragile in-between space: no longer children, not yet fully grown. Loving them well required a kind of wisdom I didn’t yet have and a dependence on God I didn’t yet understand.
Now, standing on the other side of those years, I can see more clearly what God was shaping in me then. This is not a perfect prayer, it’s the one I lived imperfectly. And it’s offered as encouragement to those of you with teens in your heart and homes.
Lord, teach me to truly see the child You gave me
One of the first things God taught me was that He never gives us carbon-copy children. Each one arrives with a different temperament, personality, and calling. Parenting teenagers isn’t about fairness or formulas, it’s about discernment.
Some need firm boundaries.
Some need gentleness.
Most need both, sometimes in the very same hour.
Looking back, I realize the moments that mattered most weren’t the lectures or corrections. They were the moments I chose to listen instead of react, to lean in instead of assume. God was teaching me to love with patience that mirrored His own.
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
Lord, help me prepare my sons – not protect them
At the time, I thought I was simply raising boys. Now I understand I was shaping men – future husbands and future leaders of homes I could not yet see.
God gently reminded me that my job was not to rescue my sons from every hard thing (thogh we want to, right mom?), but to prepare them for the weight of responsibility. They needed space to wrestle with decisions, to learn integrity, to develop courage, and to hold strength and tenderness in the same hands.
Some of the hardest moments were the ones where everything in me wanted to step in and fix it….especially when I saw pain in their eyes. I cried more than they ever knew, usually behind closed doors. But I learned to step back, lift them up, and quietly (alright, not ALWAYS quietly, I DO tend to get loud) remind them that they could do hard things.
“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.”
1 Corinthians 16:13 (KJV)
Lord, form my daughter with both strength and grace
Raising a daughter taught me that strength does not always look loud or forceful – but it is no less powerful. I prayed then, and still pray now, that she would walk confidently in who God created her to be, secure in His truth and grounded in wisdom.
I learned how important it was to teach her to honor her father and respect leadership, not because she was less, but because God designed order with purpose. I wanted her to understand that submission is not weakness or silence, and it certainly isn’t admitting you’re wrong when you’re not. It is strength under control, humility paired with confidence, and trust rooted deeply in truth.
God was shaping her heart not just for who she was becoming, but for the home she may one day build, preparing her to be its emotional strength without losing herself along the way.
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”
Proverbs 31:26 (KJV)
Lord, help me be present when they are ready…not when it’s convenient
One lesson the teen years taught me quickly was this: teenagers talk on their timeline, not ours. I lost count of how many meaningful conversations happened after 10:00 p.m.—and I am absolutely not a night owl.
The conversations that mattered most didn’t happen when I had energy or a plan. They happened late at night, in the car, or when I was already tired and unprepared. God used those moments to teach me that availability matters more than convenience.
Looking back, I’m grateful for every time I stayed awake, leaned in, and chose listening over fixing. Those moments built trust in ways no advice ever could—though eventually, the advice came too.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”
James 1:19 (KJV)
Lord, shape my heart with humility and grace
I see now how much strength it takes to apologize. I didn’t always get it right, and admitting that became one of the most powerful lessons I could teach my children.
God also impressed on me the importance of never speaking poorly of the other parent. Unity brings security. Words can either divide or protect, and I learned, sometimes the hard way, to let mine build rather than tear down.
Through my own missteps, God taught me that humility is not weakness and repentance is not failure. They are forms of leadership.
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger… be put away from you… and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.”
Ephesians 4:31–32 (KJV)
Lord, remind me that prayer carries what parenting cannot
Above everything else, I learned this truth: prayer reaches where parenting cannot. When my words fell short, when influence felt thin, and when the noise of the world grew loud, God was still working.
I prayed, and still pray, that my children would grow homesick for God’s voice (thank you Mrs. Vicky for that lesson!). That the distractions of the world would fade in comparison to His truth. That even if they wandered, they would always recognize the sound of His calling.
I also learned to lay down pride and invite others to pray with me. Why is it so easy to pray for others, but so difficult to ask for it for ourselves or our families? Pride? Maybe.
Community sustains. Often, the moments that feel hardest are the moments we need our people most. Never fear asking someone you trust for prayer.
“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”
John 10:27 (KJV)
A Word for the Moms Still in the Teen Years
If you are in the thick of raising teenagers and feel overwhelmed, weary, or unsure…take heart. God chose you to be their mother, not by accident or mistake, but by divine design.
Parent with prayer.
Lead with love.
Stand firm with grace.
Trust God with what you cannot control.
What you cannot fix, place in His hands.
What you do not understand, surrender to Him.
And what you fear, lay at the foot of the cross.
You are doing holy work—even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.
Amen.
When God Says Otherwise 
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