When God Says Otherwise

Did anyone else think that by the time you reached your 50s, life was supposed to get easier?

I really did.

No more sleepless nights with fussy babies. No emergency room trips for broken bones. No navigating your own teenage years – peer pressure, college, figuring out how to make a living, wondering if you’re doing any of it right. Finding a spouse, building a life… all those intense, formative seasons.

I truly believed that when I got here, things would settle.
Empty nest. Grandkids. Time with my husband. Date nights. Getaways.

And don’t get me wrong, I have all of that and more. I am so, so blessed.

But what I’ve learned is this: it doesn’t get easier… it just becomes a different season.

And this season? It’s stretching me in ways I never expected.

I’m learning more.
Praying harder.
Growing deeper.

What the heck? 😂

Let’s talk about a few things I didn’t fully understand until I got here.

Menopause.
I knew about hot flashes… but I didn’t know about hot flashes.
Brain fog? I genuinely thought I was losing my mind.
Joint pain, mood swings, a little extra spice in my temper (just a little… haha).
And anxiety!! This one surprised me the most. HRT has been a lifesaver for me (and has probably saved lives around me, too. Just saying.)

Then there are aging parents. This one is a whole new world.

Dementia. Care facilities. Medicare, Medicaid. Power of attorney. Medical transport. Endless paperwork. Trying to understand what the paperwork even means. “Out of network,” “out of pocket”… an entirely new language. And it feels like with every new term comes a new bill.

Adult kids? Oh, this one…

My kids are my favorite humans (well… tied closely with my grandkids). I genuinely like them. I respect them. They are good, solid people. I love their spouses. We have an incredible tribe.

But I have never prayed harder – or felt more helpless – than watching them “adult.” We spend years raising them, pouring into them, teaching them, guiding them… and then we let go.

We hope we did it right.
We pray we gave them enough.
We trust God with the rest.

And then we learn something humbling: We are no longer in control.

We don’t get to make the choices.
We don’t get to fix things.
We watch. We pray. We hope they ask for advice before things fall apart.

(And sometimes… they don’t.). As I’m writing this, I’ve been up all night with phone calls about a situation that could have gone very differently… if advice had been sought earlier. “Before” being the key word.

And then there’s loss. Friends getting sick. People we love passing away. Realizing life is more fragile than we once thought.

So many things I never really considered… until I got here.

But here’s the beautiful part of this season. I know who I am.

Without needing approval.
Without trying to fit into someone else’s expectations.

That doesn’t mean I don’t want to grow, I absolutely do! I want to be a better woman, wife, mom, grandma, and Christian. But I’m no longer searching for validation from the outside.

I’m comfortable being me.

My age.
My size.
My personality.

I laugh loud.
I cry when I feel it.
I say no when I want to (mostly without guilt 😉).

I do what brings me joy and I’ve stopped doing what doesn’t.

Some days I’m planned and productive.
Other days I’m kayaking in the middle of the afternoon just because I can.

I can dress up or dress down. Stay up late or call it early. Work hard or rest well.

It’s freedom.
It’s growth.
It’s joy in progress.

I love being in my 50s.

And while I now know I won’t be “prepared” for my 60s (lesson learned), I am genuinely excited to see what the next season brings.

How about you?

What is God teaching you in your current season?
Is it different than what you thought it would be?